I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
