just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
