i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
