Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
