its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
