i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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