im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
