I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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