Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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