super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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