Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
