just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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