I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
