Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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