do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
