omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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