This is not my ceiling
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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