My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
