Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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