I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
