I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
