Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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