I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We're too hungover to prance.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
