yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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