doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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