Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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