At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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