You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
