i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize