i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Two words: blizzard sex
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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