I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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