Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
