the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
