its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
