I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm sobbing to NWA
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
