I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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