Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
