I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
a search helicopter?!
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
