So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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