how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
