Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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