Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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