sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
