Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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