lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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