There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
