I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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