i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
