he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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