I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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