turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
