He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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