Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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